A New Look at Clergy Basics

When I first wrote this piece in its original form, it was in preparation for a small book.  I presented these points in a workshop at Michigan Pagan Fest in the June of 2015.  This is basically a word for word copy of the requirements as this writer saw them at that time.

Your friendly neighborhood Detroit Paganism Examiner has been a practicing ordained minister for a very long time. Being clergy has had its ups and downs, and being Pagan clergy has certainly been challenging. The ride has been long and bumpy enough that Betty Davis would appreciate the seat belt usage involved.

That being said, since having committed to teaching an outer court grove over the last year, it has come into conversation what the basics of being clergy are. What are the commonly held standards, and who sets them? While Cherry Hill Seminary, and others, are model schools, they are not the only route to being living, practicing, clergy. Academic training is marvelous, but it does not invalidate the coven based traditions or other modalities of training.

So, in the interest of sharing some of this person's views, as well as protecting their formatted listing from plagiarism since they are going to be published in an upcoming book this summer, they will be listed here under Mistress Belladonna's guide to Pagan clergy basics.


1. You should have at least attained the age of 21. Why? Because you should be able to enter a bar and pick up your damn covener/parishioner from the damned floor and take them to the car.
2. You should also be able to enter into contracts and be able to understand them.
3. You should know the laws on Confession. And be able to use them to protect yourself and your client.
4. You should know the laws on Mandatory Reporting in your state.
5. You should know the laws and requirements governing marriages and weddings in your state. Also, in this same matter, you should know the requirements to perform a marriage for someone who has divorced and what paperwork you need.
6. You should know the protocols, procedures, and laws on Hospice, Medical Advocacy, Medical Directives, DNR orders, and rudimentary statutory will forms so that you may assist your client to get these resources.
7. You should know the laws on Birth, Paternity, FosterCare, Kinship Programs, and Adoption so that you may be a source of information and advocacy for your clients.
8. You should know the laws on Prison Ministry, even if you do not perform this service, and maintain knowledge of Prison Chaplain requirements in your state.
9. You should know the laws on Burial Rites, and have a resource guide for those making end of life decisions that you can access to assist them.
10. You should have at least a rudimentary knowledge on Substance Abuse Education and Treatment Programs. Even better, at least some training in this area.
11. You should have access to mental health service providers, and be experienced enough to know when SOMEONE'S PROBLEMS LIE OUTSIDE OF YOUR SCOPE OF LAY SPIRITUAL COUNSELING. You should know the laws on referring someone for treatment.
12. You have studied, or at least familiarized yourself with the basics of, military chaplaincy and the rights of the people of your faith group
13. You have earned the respect of you, yourself, and others in your peer group as someone who is of good character and consistency
14. You have cultivated the qualities of leadership in yourself and can undertake hard decisions with fairness and firmness, yet be able to temper them with mercy and discernment
15. If you are of a martial bent, you have the mettle and the character to be a spiritual leader, and a channel of inspiration and bravery in battle
16. You are recognized as a Judge in the community, impartial and fair, with Wisdom
17. You should have a set of basic rituals on hand that you can perform in the event you are called into service. These include, but are not limited to;

• I. Wiccaning/Baptism
• II. Wedding/Handfasting/Commitment Ceremony
• III. Divorce/HandParting Ceremony
• IV. Memorial Services
• V. Funeral Service/Rites
• VI. House Blessings
• VII. Blessing a Person
• VIII. Rites of Passage Ceremonies
• IX. Saging/Croning
• X. Warrior Rites
• XI. Queening/Fathering
• XII. Surgical/Medical Pre Prayers
• Others

18. You should be able to explain what your beliefs are and some of their history.
19. You should be able to not have to engage in shock and awe, but engage in quiet, polite, civil theological conversation in general with other ministers of their faiths about matters of spirituality and life
20. You should know the meanings behind every tool you use, every ritual, and every hand gesture you use in YOUR practices
21. You should have some sort of First Aid Training (this includes Mental First Aid)
22. You should be able to walk into a room and hold your ground, soundly, in the face of those who would ridicule you
23. You should bring no disgrace to those who associate themselves with your ministry
24. You should bring honor to your faith, and associate nothing false
25. You should be able to be an advocate for the weak, no matter the faith
26. If you are of a martial bent, you should be able to be at the forefront of social causes to the best of your ability if your conscience moves you so
27. You should have no fear, nor eat your heart, when you witness something evil or wrong and call it out

In addition to these, there are some experiences that make really good clergy. Not all, but at least some of these are necessary for a balanced view of real life.

1. You have lost someone close to you to death
2. You have had a major medical procedure
3. You have had a brush with death
4. You have had a child
5. You have dealt with someone with a substance abuse issue OR had one yourself OR both
6. You have volunteered to help those less fortunate and/or have been helped because you were less fortunate
7. You have attended the practices, rites, and ritual services of other groups on your path and on other paths and examined them objectively
8. You have led at least one person through a personal crisis
9. You have been in an accident
10. You have been married or in a long term relationship where you lived with the other person
11. You have done military service
12. You have someone in your circle who is in the military

Is this an all encompassing list? Not at all. Does it mean that academic studies are invalid? NO. They are a part of the process of growth and give the ability to convey they inner depths of understanding. However, these markers are a good way to test if you are lay clergy or are actually a representative of your beliefs through that office. It is a self test, and a community test that can be used to evaluate where you are in your practice.

Now, an important addition to this piece comes today.  After being interviewed by Goddess Rhonda, and Goddess Starr,  of the The Priestess View Show last evening, I was blessed with an more expansive view.  Something that truly is the Powers That Be working.  Hearing the insight and eloquent sharing of Rhonda, and experiencing the comments of the contributing listeners, there came a Eureka moment.

Add to this list something that should have been at the beginning.  Add to this list that which is essential.  Add to this list a simple, yet monumental thing:

TRANSPARENCY 

When acting in any leadership position, this is important.  But in Priestly, or Clergical, matters, the need for this is critical.  It is beyond vital that we appear, unadorned and free, in our dealings with others and our communities.  Our successes, our triumphs, our challenges, and yes, even our failures, must all be able to be used and put on the table as necessary.  Why?  Because by presenting the whole human experience, it it another form of ministry.

Often times people can put folks on pedestals.  Those in the helping professions and callings often are there when the night is long and dark.  This can place a glamour of sorts around the mind's image of those seen as rescuers and comforters and confidantes.  It is only by making sure we present as fully imperfect that we can go a long way towards assuring that this does not only go to their heads, but to ours as well.  Thank you, Goddesses  Rhonda and Star, for this teaching.  

This piece, in its original form,  was posted in my column, the Detroit Paganism Examiner, and was published on April 9, 2015.

Unveiling Kris Bradley's journey to becoming a Death Doula Reprint

This is a republication of my original interview with Kris Bradley on April 12, 2014 in my old column, The Detroit Paganism Examiner.  Since then, Kris has gone on to become a phenomenal Death Practitioner.  It has been a joy to watch her travel her path.

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Last evening your friendly neighborhood Detroit Paganism Examiner finished up an interview with a very special lady with a very special Calling, Kris Bradley, and learned about her Path to becoming a Death Doula, or Death Midwife. As our population grows older, hard and gentle choices are becoming more and more prominent in many people's minds. The option to have a funeral at home for End of Life care, as well as other choices, is something that needs to be discussed before it becomes a crisis point.
Enter the realm of the Death Midwife. She is the Advocate, the Guide, the one who Serves. And Kris Bradley does a service to us by giving a peek into the world into which she has found herself Journeying. So take a moment to center yourself, relax, and glimpse the world through the eyes of one who dances in the fields of Thanatos as we take a moment to learn something new from this remarkable woman.
So, first things first, I think that maybe an introduction may be in order. You are not just your average private Pagan. You are rather public. So for those who have been living in a haze of censer smoke, tell us who you are and why most of us probably know you.

Well, I don’t know if most of you will probably know me, but I hope a few will. I’m Kris Bradley, perhaps known more online as “Mrs.B.,” blogger on (the now retired) Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom. I’m also the author of the book “Mrs.B.’s Guide to Household Witchery.”

I am a huge fan of your work as well as your Weekly Prayer posting. You seem very committed to doing positive healing work. In that vein, can you tell us what exactly is a Death Doula?

A Death Doula serves the dying and their loved ones. They provide emotional, physical and spiritual support, sitting vigil, and helping to achieve a “good death.” They work with the patient and their family to create an individual plan to ease the transition that might include music, reading aloud, sharing family photos or various complimentary therapies such as Reiki or aromatherapy. It’s all about the patient and their needs.

What drew you to this work?

My very first introduction to the word Death Doula was in an article on The Wild Hunt about a woman who was thought to be on the verge of passing to the next life herself (she actually recovered). In speaking of her accomplishments, there was a mention of her being a Death Doula, which I had to go and look up. I felt so very drawn to the description at that point, I immediately ordered a book to read up on it. From that moment on, I knew that this would be work I’d need to be involved with at some point.

How did you find the way to get started in your studies? In other words, who were your first mentors?

Up until recently, all my studies have been self-lead. I’ve read many books on death midwifery, books on grief and books for hospice providers. I’ve watched videos to learn how to bathe a body, researched the laws on home funerals in my state. If it’s connected to this subject, I’ve researched it! I finally got to a point recently where I realized that I’ve gone about as far as I could on my own, and wanted to continue with a teacher.

What classes and training have you undertaken thus far?

Most of what I’ve taken up to now have been classes that would be considered “complimentary” classes. I’ve been a Reiki master for several years, and it will be a very useful tool in this work. I’ve also been taking a flower essence remedy class and an aromatherapy class, focusing my learning on their use in hospice type situations.

Going through the courses you already have, would you say that it is an emotionally challenging work?

Any time you plan to work with not only a dying patient, but with the grieving loved ones left behind, that’s going to definitely be emotionally challenging. One of the most vulnerable, fragile times in a person’s life is when they are grieving a death. It’s certainly not going to be easy work.

What are some of the issues involved in being a Death Doula that you have passion regarding?

My biggest passion going into this is to make sure that the patient’s needs and wants are recognized and valued. People often think, with the best of intentions, that they know what’s best for a dying family member or friend. The patient has the right to refuse visitors, refuse to “take just one more bite.” They have the right to want more hugs or less hugs or to not want pain medication. They have a voice and they have rights and those rights should be respected. A Death Doula is first and foremost an advocate for the patient.

With the major overhaul in the Health Industry, and more people entering hospice and end of life transition industries, what do you foresee the field looking like in the next five years insofar as your role?

Considering that a quarter of the U.S. Population is 55 years old or older, I think that “alternative” end of life care will be a very popular choice over the next five years and beyond. The “baby boomer” generation is already starting to choose more green options for their funerals and there are increased numbers of people starting to plan for their end of life care every year. I think that more and more people will be exploring wanting to be home for their last days and looking into the possibilities of a less expensive, more personal, home funeral.

How important is the ability to process empathy with professional distance in this work?

This is definitely a concern of mine. I am a very sensitive person and I know that there is only so much professional distance that I’ll be able to hold. I’m not sure that’s a bad thing, though. 

This is work that calls for you to care for each patient as if they were family. Though you treat them with the utmost respect and professionalism, you care for them, fight for them if necessary, and hold them dear. I’m not sure how much distance you can hold on to as you help someone transition to their next stage.

What are the resources for self care for the Death Doula?

As of right now I am unaware of any specific resource for self-care for the Death Doula outside of a few online groups. My hope is that once I’ve been certified and have enough experience, I’ll go on to teach this art locally, and create a circle of support within our community.

Now the big question, you have a fundraiser going on right now in order to accomplish your certification. Can you tell us about that?

I recently started a “Go Fund Me” campaign to help raise funds to get closer to my goal to becoming a certified Death Doula. The campaign had three goals, the last being the ability to take both parts of the certification program from Beyond Hospice. This program is an 88 hour course comprising of both online modules and a short residential program in Austin, Texas. I never expected to reach that goal, but I’ve been tremendously blessed by an outpouring of support and have gone just past my goal amount. As soon as I wrap up some current projects, I’ll be starting the online part of the program!

What will the credential allow you to do?

Technically there is no national certification or credential for Death Doula work. In the big scope of things, anyone could hang out a shingle and use that title. What the credential does offer, however, is a bit of legitimacy for those who want to see what your background is before working with you. It’s proof that you have studied and committed yourself to the work. It also gains you the knowledge, wisdom and experience of someone who’s been doing the work hands on.

Would you say that spirituality plays a large role in this work?

For me, I’d say that it plays a huge role. I’m not sure if I’d have been open to this work if I did not have a very strong faith in what I believe in and that there is something on the other side. I can’t, of course, speak for anyone else, but my spirituality is what gives me the strength to even consider this work.

As a Pagan, have you found that there is a lack of practitioners who are empathetic to nontraditional religions?

So far I’ve had no show of any concern about what my religion is at all. Many of the people I’ve been in contact with who are doing this work are themselves Pagan practitioners or are very open to the them.

Are families open to Death Doulas that may not share their beliefs?

I’ve not yet worked directly with a patient as a doula, but I can say that my emphasis will be on the beliefs of the patient, so my beliefs should not be an issue (barring anything that specifically goes against my moral or ethical beliefs, of course). Hopefully that will never crop up as an issue, but if it does, I’m prepared to explain that my beliefs are my own and I would certainly never try to push them onto anyone else, certainly not at the time of their death.

When you see yourself, five years from now, what are you visualizing your Path to have developed?

In five years I’d like to be at a place where I’ve been working steadily in this field and have created my own workshops to help others come into the field as well. I’d like to be an active, working asset to my community.

If the readers come away with only one thing from this article about Death Doulas, what would you like that to be?

The one thing I’d like to leave those reading this article is to know that there are people out there that can help you in your time of grief. They can help you get organized, create a plan for a good death, and will sit by your side in vigil. There is no need to be alone or worry that your wishes will not be carried out, because there are advocates out there for you.

To learn more about becoming a Death Doula or Death Midwife, please visit Safer Midwifery For Michigan's page to find out more about Michigan information.

To get to know a little about Kris Bradley the author, check out her book "Mrs. B's Guide to Household Witchery",

Blessed Be.

A holiday musing for my readers during this time of celebration

(To the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Solstice Dash

Dashing through the snow,
With all my witchy swag
Anointed head to toe
The belladonna is in my bag

Datura in my purse
To speed my spirit flight
Amber on my neck
Such a glowing sight

Oh, Solstice time
Spake in rhyme
And other holidays

No matter what the name they use
The Sun comes any way

Copper chimes
Cords that wind
Mistletoe and hay
Oh what fun to see the light
Of the dances of the Fae

Brewing up tisanes
And cocoas spiked with herbs
Bread bowls and meat stews
With friends, meals are superb

Resetting crystal grids
And knotting up my cords
Oh what fun to dance and sing
And consecrate my swords

Oh, Solstice time
Spake in rhyme
And other holidays

No matter what the name they use
The Sun comes any way

Whether casting in the round
Or the wheel itself we tread
Baking grain that's ground
Or eating ebon bread

No matter who you love
Or Tradition that you oath
Share an ale with kin or coven mates
Or maybe just do both

Oh, Solstice time
Spake in rhyme
And other holidays

No matter what the name they use
The Sun comes any way

by

Kenya Coviak aka Mistress Belladonna

By Ida Rentoul Outhwaite [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Native American Smudge Class at Gemini Moon and why you really should go

Bright Blessings!

This Saturday, at Gemini Moon in Mt. Clemens, Glenn Brown will be teaching about Native American Smudging starting at 7:00 p.m..  For those of us here in what this writer likes to refer to as Pure Pagan Michigan, this is important in a very personal way.  You see, dear reader, there is an issue, an elephant in the room, that no one talks about anymore.

The issue is that currently, everywhere you look, people are using the term "smudge" every time they light up some sage or other fumigation materials.  And this, dear readers, PISSES ME OFF.  WHY?

******************************WARNING!!!!RANT*********************************

The term Smudge belongs to a specific style and cultural matrix, that of the First Nations of this continent.  It is a form of Smoke Cleansing.  There are many forms.  And pay very close attention to this next part:  Witches and other Pagans have stolen and burgled their house and taken it for themselves just as pretty as you please.

Every time someone fumes, or censes, a person in a public rituals of late, that term seems to rear up like a tarantula in a nature video in Australia.  Seriously.  And while it has become common practice to  the point where people do not even acknowledge that it is misapplied, the word Smudge is not something that is just folks fuming someone.  Unless you have been trained in the prep, use, purpose, and the care of the Medicines, there is a question to be asked:

WHO. TOLD. YOU. THAT. USING. THAT. WORD. WAS. OKAY?

Yes, good gentlefolk, this is appropriation.  And it is done under the dirty banner of eclecticism and ignorance.  But those who know better should try to do better.

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Glenn Brown will be teaching in the Lakota tradition, and is knowledgeable about many ways of smoke cleansing.  The use of white sage, and other herbs & resins will be expounded on in regard to their use for the clearance of negative energy.  The cost is  $20.00 per person and they ask that you  RSVP in order to ensure you have a seat, because space is limited.  You can call 586-222-2836, and while at it, why no phone a friend and invite them as well.

Blessed Be and Save A Seat for ME

And now, for a little humor for my readers who made it to the bottom.  

Chef Day Presents: The Day Experience Sponsored by Selfish Magazine this weekend

 Chef Day is having a party.  A reeeeeallly special party, and it is to celebrate the beginning of a brand new venture.  As part of this writer's goal to promote Metro Detroit Pagan Businesses, this is a shout out and broadcast to boost the signal.

Let her tell you about it in her own words, though:

Come out and support small businesses, Thanksgiving weekend.  This is a launch party event for Sacred Me, a purpose given bath salt line.  We have something for everyone, this party  is vegan, vegetarian, seafood, and meat lovers friendly.

There is the promise of a DJ, exquisite catering by the talented Chef Day herself, and all sorts of treats.  There will also be a Human Art Exhibit, so put on your eclectic hat.  In addition to this, for the adventurous, there will be a raffle, and vendors to tempt you with their unique wares. Music, Wine, Hors D'oeuvres, gift bags, and more surprises await.

It is all happening at Hazel's place Lounge, at 5516 Michigan Ave in Detroit.  Tickets are $15, and for more information, one can call  734-299-6189.

Belladonna's little Pagan activity guide November 4th edition

Here is a little list for stuff that may be of interest to my Pagan families.  This is not an all inclusive guide, just a quick hot spot. Enjoy.

•  Detroit Doula Meet Up, November 8, 2:00 p.m., Wow Church & Life Center,14111 E 7 Mile Rd, Detroit, Michigan
•  Energy Exchange w/House Kheperu, November 8, 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m,
  Northwest Unitarian Universalist Church, 23925 Northwestern Hwy, Southfield, Michigan
•  ABUNDANCE GONG MEDITATION & CACAO CEREMONY, November 14, $50,
  7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.,Center for the Healing Arts & Massage, Spirit Forge Complex - Building E in the back,38245 Mound Road,Sterling Heights, MI
• Universal Society of Ancient Ministries - Witches Of Michigan Gathering Of Pagans, November 22, 1:00 p.m., American Legion Hall, 37060 Huron River Drive, New Boston MI 
•  Winter Wonderland, December 4 from 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.,$10, Edsel & Eleanor Ford House,1100 Lake Shore Rd, Grosse Pointe Shores, Michigan
•  PSYCHIC/HOLISTIC Wellness Festival, December 5 from 11:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m., $5,
  LUXE Lounge1519 W Bristol Rd, Flint, Michigan
• Belle Isle Holiday Stroll,  December 11, 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.,  Belle Isle Aquarium, Conservatory, Dossin Great Lakes Museum open 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. (free admission),  Belle Isle Park, 900 Inselruhe Ave., Detroit, MI (As this is a State Park now, there is a vehicle entrance fee
• Yule Essentials - Create and Take, December 12, from 7:00  p.m. - 9:00 p.m., $25,
  Peaceful Spirit Studio32580 Grand River Ave, Ste 1, Farmington, Michigan
•  Sunday Morning Dance Meditation Technique, Ongoing - Sundays at 11:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m., Donation based, Red Door Digital, 7500 Oakland St, Detroit, Michigan
• Monday Meditation, Livingston County Spiritual Center, Ongoing - Mondays at 7:00 p.m., $10 donation, 7588 E M-36, Hamburg, Michigan
• Vibrational Healing, Livingston County Spiritual Center, Ongoing - Tuesdays at 7:00 p.m., $10 donation, 7588 E M-36, Hamburg, Michigan

Attention Pagan Community Organizations: Suicide Awareness Training Nov 6

One of the things that many of the members of the Pagan Societies and Communities in Metro Detroit and elsewhere will be experiencing for the next few months is what we call the Holiday blues.  Whether through loneliness, an event, distancing from family, or all kinds of ongoing factors lead to it, this stress can sometimes lead to those dark places that can be fatal for many of us.  To end a life, to consider suicide, is the ultimate act of violence and despair.  If you are a Pagan community leader in Metro Detroit, there is a resource you can take advantage of by sending yourself, or one of your members to training on suicide awareness this Friday called safeTALK Training.

The  safeTALK (Suicide Alertness for Everyone) training will be held at American Indian Health and Family Services. A training that is about 3 hours long, it will teach participants 

• to recognize people who may be at risk of suicide
• how to open up discussion
• keep them safe 
• refer them to appropriate services

There are openings for 30 people for this training.  This will not lead to certification, but will prepare folks are are in attendance for situations that they may face.  This writer has been through the actual 2 day course and is certified for the next three years as a Gatekeeper, and has found it highly useful.  It is being placed in this column in order to plead with the local groups and individuals in our community to take advantage of it.

Over the last year, it has been a very rough time for many in the communities.  That 3 a.m. clergy call and text and chat have been hot.  And on a personal note, this writer has to say that we have fallen down on the job.  Why?  Because we are not taking advantage of the resources out here that are available to us. 

Repeatedly, I have offered, as have others, to put together resource binders and seminars for the local groups.  Whether because of politics, disorganization, or just plain being overwhelmed by a seemingly enormous undertaking, people have not taken what is offered.  It does not have to come from me.  There are dozens of folks in our community that are here to help and train.  And it doesn't take a Masters Degree either.  Learn to use the people you have before they walk away.   Because knocking your head against a brick wall gives one a headache.  Serve your people.

 
American Indian Health and Family Services has the course scheduled for 1 – 4 p.m. Friday, November 6, 2015. If you have questions or would like to register, contact Karen Marshall at KMarshall@AIHFS.org or at (313) 846-6030, ext. 1404.  They are located at 4880 Lawndale St, Detroit, MI 48210.