So the topic came up today, talking to one of my closest friends here in Michigan. The question of me, and why I did not pursue my career in the military.
The fact is, I wonder how life would have been had I not walked away from that candidacy board that night and decided "no".
What would my life be like if I had not decided that I did not want to fight upstream? With the grade scandal that surrounded my school because of the Marine Corps students, should I have really tried to pursue my naval career anyway?
I turned away for a number of reasons, primarily due to questioning of my test scores being in their minds. I had a proven record of excellence, but that doubt would have followed me. It was not worth a 15 year stretch of that.
But the biggest reason was that the Goddess, or God, or Both, reached out to me and touched my heart through encounters with other people. I have told Kyle, my husband, many times that week was the first time I really understood that what I would do would be done to people who had souls. And that changed my mind.
For the record. I was going into a special service area. My files would have been "Black". For those who know what that means, you know that means my true self is a certain kind of way.
For those who do not, let me make it brief. I was going into the service to be an interrogator and an assassin for my nation. When I was a small girl, I wrote an essay that sums up my belief systems.
When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said either a nun or an assassin. They asked me why. I said I wanted to either help people suffering in the world by being a spiritual person, or as an assassin who would kill the people making them suffer.
I chose a different path than what lay before me. I chose the path of peace, yet I still claim the warrior. Because what I did not choose to do in flesh, I do in spiritual warfare.
Make no mistake. I am always who I am. But for some of you, you have never seen me...the real me.
Here I stand.